You’re hanging out, all happy with your small kitchen appliances. You’ve got your coffeemaker, crockpot, bread machine, popcorn popper, Cuisinart food processor, your Kitchen-aid, a toaster. A microwave. A stick blender and a regular blender that you never use because you have a stick blender. A waffle iron. A George Foreman grill that was a hand-me-down and will go into the garage sale this year because you never use it.
None of them are recent acquisitions, except the stick blender, which you bought recently to replace the old stick blender.
La la la. Living your life, not looking for more small kitchen appliances. Suddenly, BAM. There’s a garage sale with a brand new Cuisinart ice cream maker for $15. Oh, the kids would like that. Then you go to the dentist. Seems harmless enough, except he’s a really nice guy who discussed the necessity of rice cookers with you (and your lack thereof) at your last appointment and sets you up with one. Then you get some “reward points” for being helpful at work. Look, you can get a yogurt maker with your points! You’ve always wanted a yogurt maker.
So, within a week, you have three new small kitchen appliances. “How did this happen?” you wonder. “Where will we put them?” you muse. “Will I take my homemade yogurt and put it into the ice cream maker to make frozen yogurt this summer?” you doubtfully frown.
Now, this is where creative writing takes an ugly turn. I could shut up now. The post above: it stands alone. However, I feel compelled to add that David Byrne is clearly doing Bert’s “Doing the Pigeon” dance at 43 seconds in. Compare this video at 1:45 in:
See, and there you have it, folks. Another perfectly coherent blog entry ruined.