I sense a trend

Do I do this every year? Is it possible that I'm this dumb? Let's just keep a record, and we can check back next year at this time.

• The very first day of school I heard of a different SLP who actually knows something about apraxia. This would be a welcome change from Easter Seals, so I immediately call to schedule something. And she wants a copy of the IEP and other stuff. Which is reasonable, of course, but means I have to put that together. Luckily (?) she can't see us until Sept 21st.
• I haven't done any freelancing since I was pregnant with Nea (I remember specifically since that client wanted me to come meet him downtown for no good reason, and I thought to myself, "Well, won't this massive belly be a bit of a surprise for the yahoo."), but now I've finished one job and have another lined up.
• It's the end of the fiscal year at my regular job, and what a quarter it's been! With the extreme meltdown in mental health of my team in India. What joy.
• Plus I just qualified for a focus group thing, so that's nice. Except I'm supposed to cook three meals in a week with SECRET NEW THING and then report back. Sounds like work.
• And I'm the head of the PTA Wellness Committee now, with my personal agenda of revamping the lunch vendor, if possible, and the start of a "walking school bus" program. Oh yeah, and it turns out that I'm supposed to have something in the monthly school newsletter, oh boy. As in, regularly.
• Boo says she's "bored" at school. On Day Four of School she says this. Oof.
• Luckily, Nea has two very very nice Girl Scout friends in her class this year. They bonded at the worst ever GS thing two weeks ago. Imagine the worst hot/humid/mosquito hell. Then add a trashy mom getting a vodka bottle passed through the fence so she can endure spending time with her daughter. And some other mind-bogglingly ridiculous parental antics. I mean, seriously. Please seek help if you can't go 24 hours without a drink, ok? There's help out there for you. Really.
• Plus we have abandoned Saturday German school, so I'm homeschooling German this year! I'M INSANE. SOMEONE HELP ME.

What do shingles scars look like one month after they erupt?

So, a little health update on my shingles. The pain is gone, the itching is much better (which means I can sleep again), and my skin is less numb on my forehead. Got the bill from the hospital. In case you were wondering, the full price (pre-insurance) of a 24-hour stay in the isolation ward, where everyone has to wear a fresh face mask and a full paper gown EVERY SINGLE TIME they enter your room, is only $7100. What a deal! Of course, the infectious diseases doctor bills separately.

If you want to know what it looked like when I was in the hospital you can go ahead and Google "shingles on face". I don't recommend it, but knock yourself out. Granted, I didn't look nearly as bad as many of those poor people.

Doctors keep telling me that the scars generally fade entirely, but it could take up to one year. Frankly, the prospect of losing my eyesight in that eye worried me a hell of a lot more than my appearance, and I have confirmation that the shingles affected my tear duct's ability to work.

"Look at that sad lady, Mommy. Why is she crying out of one eye?" Actually, I have this gritty feeling in my eye, whether I'm wearing my contacts or not. It's annoying. I haven't cried lately, so I don't know if it's noticeably different from both eyes. I'll get back to you on that. Maybe I can get a sad movie soon.

Anyway, the ophthalmologist* says that other eye complications are "rare" this late in the game, so I'm starting to think about the scars a bit more. Especially that big divot-like one in the middle of my stupid forehead. Might be time for a new haircut.

Additionally, I seem to have lost much of my sense of smell. I hope that's temporary.

See? See how shingles doesn't cross the midline? It's like magic, except not really so fun.

*Some other words with the "phth" sequence include phthalein, phthisis, Phthirus, and phthisiology. In case you were wondering.

Yeah, yeah, it goes to 11

I've had my doubts about the pain rating scale that doctors use for quite awhile. If you've seen a doctor in the past 8 years or so for anything pain-related, you've seen it.

Image 1: Happy smiling face at 1, crying sad face at 10.

NPR even had a story a week ago about what a breakthrough this was on helping people manage their pain. Um, ok. If I'm discussing pain with a doctor, it's at least a 5, or I'd be at home, drinking tea on the couch. Anyone who says 10 is either addicted to painkillers (and hoping to score more) or lacking in imagination.

Let's take that old standard, childbirth, as a ten. Well, what if you were giving birth and someone started stabbing you repeatedly in the foot? While splashing boiling water on you? And pulling out chunks of your hair? You'd feel silly then, wouldn't you. You'd already self-reported your pain at the top of the scale.

So, under the premise that "It could always be worse" (my personal rallying cry), let's just save 9 and 10 for wartime and torture. So we've now shrunk the useable part of the pain scale from 5-8. That's not much of a range.

All this to say I have pleurisy. After my usual hemming and hawing, I gave it a 6.

Oy, the sick

We almost pulled a full Stonebraker. I believe the definition of a full Stonebraker is when all family members over the age of 3 are violently puking on the same day. Sadly, N doesn’t allow himself to vomit, so we will have to continue our sad little existence, knowing that we have only achieved a mediocre partial Stonebraker.

But we’re getting better!