The advantage of having the same friend for 18 years

Scenario 1: My friend Jill is driving her minivan and asks me to pay the $5 parking fee, as she has no cash. No problem, sez I. I open my wallet and consider my options. Do I want to break a 20? Sort of, but that’s annoying at a parking garage. Hmm, I have a lot of singles. I could use those. But that’s kind of obnoxious at a parking garage, too. I have a $5 bill. I guess I’ll just use that. I hold it up to the light, idly checking the anti-counterfeit strip. Jill is still driving down the long ramps, around and around toward the exit. She turns to me and says, “Is that the one, then?” We dissolve in laughter at how ridiculous I am.

Scenario 2: We’re putting together dinner. It’s steak salad with garlic bread. She makes the garlic bread the way her mom does, with floofy white bread and butter and garlic salt. There’s a little bit of bread left. We’re discussing how our parents sometimes undermine our attempts to have our children eat healthy meals. Jill says, “Yeah, we were eating dinner, and my mom gives my daughter three pieces of buttered bread! That’s just so unnecessary.” I nod and make sincere “I agree” noises. She looks over at me. I’ve stuffed another piece of the leftover white floofy bread into my mouth, so I can’t actually talk. We laugh so hard I’m worried I’m going to pee my pants.

Deuces and toothes wild

We played poker Saturday night at our neighbor’s house, while the kids ran around in dress-up clothes. Boo called poker “Pokémon.” Of course, she just lost one of her front teeth on Monday, so it’s hard to take anything she says particularly seriously. She pulled it out herself during lunch in front of an audience of 5 kids. They were all very quiet and respectful. I think they were all thinking, “Dude, do NOT piss off that girl. She can rip out your teeth like THAT.” Then we passed it around in a plastic container. Instant show-n-tell magic.

Back to the poker. It was the first time in 9 years or so. We lost 3 large. (For definitions of large which equal a dollar.) Nickel ante is my friend! Then went home and watched Owning Mahowny (with Philip Seymour Hoffman). Good stuff and good timing. Note to self: do not become addicted to gambling. Looks like a crappy existence. He was not playing nickel ante at ALL.

True friends

True friends contemplate taking a monarch caterpillar back from vacation with them in a jar, and placing the imposter in your veggie garden. True friends then decide not to, as none can be found that are “as big as Marvin.”

Public service announcement: If you have a serviceberry bush or tree, get out there and harvest! Yummy straight off the tree or with vanilla ice cream.